Letter to Cyprian Nyakundi



Cyprian! Cyprian! Cyprian! I always thought the best way to ruin a girl's day is by her waking up with cramps, getting a breakup text from her man at the light of dawn or a call from her boss telling her that she just got fired. The shock on me for it wasn't until I read your posts and realized how wrong I was. First of all, I have never been a feminist. Sure thing, I battle with liking men but that was never a guarantee that I'm a feminist. However, you just made me choose my cup of tea; being a firm feminist.
Society teaches women to conform, that women are supposed to behave in a specific manner. That they are not supposed to stand up for themselves. They aren't even supposed to eat gizzards because they are the inferior members of the society. A few years back, girls were raised with the knowledge that once I hit 13, my parents will need to find me a suitable suitor to marry me. By the time I am 27 years, I should be a mom to about 10 kids. Liberation then occurred for these young girls. Education to the girl child was taken a bit seriously. A real game changer. Even so, young girls barely passed their exams. Once they got home from school they had to work on some chores. In some communities, the young girls still got circumcised. Others still got married off to elder men forcing them to drop out. Some parents said that educating a female child was a waste of time and resources. It was more like shooting a dead cow. The struggle didn't end there. The few that survived school and made it out alive ended up lacking jobs. Reason being, they were women. What did it mean to be a woman in the job market? It meant she is educated, she is knowledgeable but she is misplaced. Why so? Because she should be home attending to her husband and her kids. It also meant she is not capable of handling some work. That she is fragile and unreliable. Therefore, educated women ended up being knowledgeable but went back to being housewives, to relying on their husbands and doing what society expected of them. There's the lot that never gave up. The lot that still fought for jobs getting a place in society as more than just housewives. This lot marked a new dawn for women for they said, "A woman should and must overcome these struggles" In that era, most of these women were seen as a disgrace to the community, others were even associated with witchcraft and called nasty names. All because of getting an education and striving to make their dream for women a reality. The dream that was, "Women deserve better." As much as they had a dream, they had to settle for jobs meant for women, had to dress like women, had to still let the men come first, had to accept lower salaries, had to do both house and office work for again the men weren't supposed to help out as much as they were married to educated women.
Independence. Independence was attained by our women when they started getting highly ranked positions and jobs. We had our first CEO, the first female president, the first female principal, the first female driver, teacher, policewoman, mechanic, and miner. I recall one day. I was an innocent class three kid growing up in a world where women still had a long way to go. As a naïve little girl, I came across a policewoman and only God knows how mesmerized I was. My mom understood why I was surprised and said, "Women are making their marks."
It has been years since then. Women now have a voice. There are more policewomen than the fingers on my hands. More opportunities. The sad thing is; some things haven't changed. Women are sexually assaulted at work and in learning institutions. Some posts still can't be accorded to women because of the label ‘A woman'. There are those who make it through all these struggles. They make it to where they want to be. What happens next? People like Cyprian Nyakundi write about them criticizing their journey, ridiculing their struggle and concluding they don't deserve it. I wonder if you understand the sacrifices women have to make to get there. Extra hours, losing husbands and boyfriends that don't support them, having to be a mom that's in the spotlight. I have read your work. Or rather I have read how you criticize how women get to the top, how it's not worth talking about, how it's a disgrace. How women are the downfall of so many things. Last I checked, women are taking control and working on so many things that aren't failing. Women are proudly making their marks on this planet called earth. What about making it to the top through the wrong path?  (It's wrong according to you) I once read somewhere that it doesn't matter which route you take or what you do. What matters is that you finally get to your destination.
I get it. I get part of it. Ladies have changed. Some have become pests that siphon cash out of men. Others have become empty-headed to the point of throwing up every time someone tells them to read a book. Others can't date a man with no money yet they themselves are more broke than church mice. Some ladies demand so much and offer nothing. Some mothers in the present generation do not even know which types of foods their babies should eat. Others dress hysterically in front of their parents and have zero respect for the elderly. I'm saddened. Saddened by the path some of our ladies are taking. It troubles me that as much as there are women and ladies striving to make it and bring change and redemption for the female species, there are others pulling them behind. Even so, that doesn't make men perfect. Some men have no respect for ladies, others have no intention to make the world a better place and others do not even respect their fellow men. Funny thing is no-one writes or criticizes these men.
There is a young lady somewhere striving to make it in this world. She's putting in extra hours, making sacrifices and trying to pass up the things she is expected to be doing at her age so that she can get to the point of success. You know what worries her? It's not that she will fail, it's the fact that she will succeed and a Cyprian Nyakundi somewhere will write about her story and criticize her saying she doesn't deserve her success. I guess it's true, the world can be a dangerous place to live in.

6 comments

There is a young lady somewhere striving to make it in this world. She's putting in extra hours, making sacrifices and trying to pass up the things she is expected to be doing at her age so that she can get to the point of success.


Nyakundi is not after such. He's after those that do nothing but wait and milk the boychild off his sweat

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What you say is true. also the fact that the society sees women as weak, is true. but it is so because they have made themselves so. the society tries as much to put both men and women on same level, but they drag themselves down. if the society educates a girl-child to be equal like a man it means they both have equal opportunities. yet in the reality, you find the same girl-child depending on a man. why? yet she is working? am not saying all, but majority i have seen. the problem is women. not men. the common saying "pesa yako, ni yetu na pesa yangu ni yangu" that really puts women in a bad position. perhaps through open minded women like you, we will begin to see a wave of change across the platform. otherwise for now, let Nyakundi do his work.

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Yees I got you men.. they say it's a man's duty to provide. Pay bills, pay school fees treat her etc even when they are earning more than the poor man.

I agree that women are leaving their mark and genuinely so


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