A famous slogan ‘Men are dogs’ was invented and without any proof, majority came to believe that it’s true. Then another slogan was invented, ‘Women Empowerment’, which campaigns that women can do and be all the things men can. Does this include women being called dogs? Maybe it does, because in snap-chat all we see is ladies proudly using dog filters. The irony doesn’t stop there. Society further goes on to start forums that educate women and girls on how to guard their hearts against men who will hurt them and ruin their futures. But then, such forums to offer similar education to men and young boys don’t exist. So, who will educate our sons and bachelors how to guard their hearts and pockets from the many Delilah’s and Jezebel’s present in this planet?
Yes, we get it. Times have changed, equality is being practiced, life still isn’t fair and women are actually standing out. But why don’t we also tell these men the truth about some of these ladies? I mean, it’s better than sugarcoating things with ‘Men are tough and can figure it out’ but let’s be real. How many tough men are out there dating and marrying the wrong women? Roughly, 35% of those getting into marriages are now ending up in courts filing for divorces. Quit alarming, right? So who are these ladies that men should watch out for?
- Ladies who do not respect your hustle.
This belief that after you make it and get that paper in plenty she will actually love you is just an illusion. Yes, she will accept you and give you what you want since you’re at the point of success, but love isn’t what she’ll be feeling. Actually, it’ll be infatuation mixed with lust (There’s still no name for this combination). I also know some of these ladies are so extra talking of how they can’t date a man hustling his way to the top because he can’t maintain her for she is too expensive. Others are busy showing hustlers that they aren’t worth anything and their hustle is meaningless. My brother, there is no way you can get to the top without hustling. Well, unless it’s through inheritance for even struggling to correctly predict sport-pesa scores is hustling. If she’s too expensive, why does she even need you to maintain and support her? I mean, she can’t be broke and expensive. Furthermore, that’s negativity that you do not need in your life and there is no way you will succeed if the person you want to hold you down does not support you.
- Ladies who do not respect their elders.
So many blames are put on this 21st century syndrome. I wonder, who introduced the 21st century disrespect your elders fever? If your parent is a true Kenyan, I’m sure that once or twice he or she has narrated how strict their parents and even other elderly people were despite their age. It didn’t matter if they were 5, 10, 20, 25 or 30, a parent still had to be respected and his or her words had to be adhered to. So, will we also term the rise of disrespect as evolution? Sometime last week as I was in the supermarket, a young couple stood behind me in the line to the cashier’s desk. The lady was pissed and confidently yapping about how an old man had accidentally stepped on her. From her choice of words, I initially thought she was talking about a mad man. But alas! The elderly man she kept calling mzee mjinga came and stood in line behind her and she had the audacity to say “Huyu mzee ata hana adabu,” All her boyfriend had to say was “relax baby” When did disrespect become a trend? How will this young man introduce this lady to his parents and expect that she will respect the two people he owes his life to? With respect to elders comes blessings and favors. See, a respectful lady brings glory not only to herself but also to her man.
- Ladies with no drive in life
Now this doesn’t apply to those who want to settle down with anyone. It applies to those who want to settle down with serious people. Not every woman is worthy of the title my wife or the mother of my kids’ and just as Cinderella’s shoe couldn’t fit any lady, the same way these titles can’t be accorded to any woman. If someone's vision or drive doesn’t relate to yours, both of you will have a hard time relating when it comes to matters of how to progress. However, this isn’t as terrible as what men are doing, marrying women with no vision just because they are pretty. I am not suggesting that beauty is not of importance, all I’m saying is that it’s not that essential. For instance, if your vision is to become a CEO and her vision is to rob a CEO, how will the two of you help each other grow and achieve your dreams? Being in such a relationship is like being in a car that doesn’t have two back wheels whereby, the car won’t move despite the amount of fuel it’ll be channeled with.
- Ladies with an ego that’s larger than life
As I said, women empowerment has had a large influence including the confusion that women shouldn’t be submissive or shouldn’t do as instructed by a man. But let me ask, if your lady controls you, how are you worthy of the title ‘a true man’? See, the Bible clearly states that a woman is expected to adhere to what a man says. This doesn’t mean that as a man you should make her do degrading things, it means that her ego should slightly be lower than yours. Low enough for you to communicate well and understand each other. I understand that some of you like to be challenged and women with much ego come as a challenge, well, it’s true, but if she doesn’t start reducing her ego for your sake even after months and years of dating, run away. For getting into marriage with such a lady is a trap. They say the worst thing is being broke. No, the worst thing is having a wife or girlfriend you can’t correct, reprimand or control when necessary.
- A lady who doesn’t make you happy
Life’s greatest mission is to be happy and a person who doesn’t make you happy isn’t worth it. We all have different meanings for happiness but whichever meaning and explanation you choose to believe in, it still comes back to one thing, happiness. See, a lady who doesn’t make you feel as if you’d rather skip a boy’s night out just to spend time with her or who doesn’t make you smile at least once in a while when you think of her isn’t a lady to commit to. Most may be wondering, why not? It’s simple, imagine being married to someone who makes you feel the way you do when your salary is delayed and every day, you have to go home and look at them in the eye and hold a forced conversation with them. It’s more like subjecting yourself to a personal imprisonment.
Are men dogs? It’s yet to be confirmed. Are women liars? It’s also yet to be confirmed. But in every rumor there’s some truth just as there is some truth in both beliefs. However, both beliefs portray the imperfections that we have as human beings. If you’re a man struggling to get a good girl, stop stressing over ‘Rihanna’s’ or saying that you always get the bad ones. If you look in the right places and for the right things, chances are that you will get what you are looking for. However, if you go fishing in a desert, will you return home with fish or scorpions?