I looked up and found his eyes fixated on me, so I placed my half-full glass of chardonnay next to the plate that had a branch of grapes and stared back at him. His eyes were intimidating, suggestive, alluring and most of all, they seemed to have a burning flame. I was curious to know if my gaze made him feel the same way but I couldn’t ask. Then he did it! Slowly and unconsciously, he bit his lip. All of a sudden, my adrenaline levels went up. My pulse shot up by a rate of 50%. My heart pounded like that of Donald trump when he his reading memes aimed at roasting him. A smile seemed to form on his face and there and then I knew he had noticed. Noticed the tension he had created, the arousal he had given me and mainly, the desire.
Slowly he rose and started walking towards me. Slowly, I found myself biting my lip. Had I just given myself away? What was happening? Was I about to screw with him? Was I such a weakling? These were plain questions. Questions with empty answers, no solutions or explanations. Then he stood behind me. Gently he placed his hand on my shoulder. Bent to bring his face close to my ear. He then whispered, “We can’t fight it anymore.” Confusion. So I turned. Turned with the aim of looking at him to say, “We can ignore it.” But as soon as I had turned to face him, he leaned in. Leaned in and gently kissed me as if I was his lover. For a second, I kissed back then I pushed him away and rose from my seat.
Determination. Determined to leave, I started walking away. Quickly but gently, he grabbed my hand. A moment of silence. No words, no noise, no tension breaker. So I pulled myself together and turned so as to plead with him. Plead with him to let me go; to let me be a decent woman. But again, he made a move. This time he put his hand around my waist pulling me towards him. Should I have pushed him away? Then he kissed me, this time passionately, with a burning desire. My body was willing to walk away but the spirit was weak. So I kissed him back. Let him caress me all he wanted and then the unexpected happened. He pinned me to the wall. And that was just the beginning of a long night.
My love, all this happened three months ago. It happened all because you gave me doubts. Made me feel like you were seeing someone else so I approached your best friend to ask him to be honest. Then he invited me to his place. I didn’t know that he had planned for it to be a date. I didn’t know that he would do such a thing to you. Well, maybe I knew he had been eyeing me due to the way he had always looked at me. For he always stared longer, winked at me when you weren’t looking and even asked me out for lunch dates when you were out of town. But never did I think that he would really make such a major move.
So babe, I am very bothered. Why are you so blind? Can’t you tell how jovial I become when Kennie is around? Don’t you see how he touches my hand when you are barely looking? Doesn’t it ever cross your mind that the times we both fail to pick our phones and later give you excuses that we were most definitely together? Don’t you ever wonder why every weekend he comes by? Don’t you ever notice how his face changes when you kiss me in front of him? So why are you so naïve? Or is it that you have noticed but don’t you want to react?
Am tired of playing games. Tired of being with you but having my heart beat for your best friend. But most of all, am tired of deceiving you. Am pretty sure that sooner or later you will find out or if you already know, a time will come and you will act out. But when that time comes, don’t fuss or yell, don’t start an argument or try to insult me. Just say it plainly, “I know you love Kennie.” I won’t quarrel or argue, instead, I will just pack and leave. For I know that to the both of you, bros come before hoes so I will never be for any of you. Maybe all these would have never happened if you had not given me doubts, but I can’t turn back time and change my mistakes. Just know that I always loved you but the devil…..