“MAMA, Shiro showed me a dudu today. It was small, somehow oval in shape and brown in color. For a minute I was timorous, but something like a ghost’s voice said, ’touch it’ and believe you me, I did. It didn’t run or fly away. So I kept on touching it till it appeared to be producing mucus. It felt good, or rather, it felt great. Someday I will own a dudu like that.”
When you live in a tenement, there are many things you hear. Some because you have to, others by accident and others you have to eavesdrop (for instance, in this case I had to eavesdrop). From where I was standing, the mother of the young boyo, Tommy, didn’t seem to understand what her son meant. Do you understand what he meant? See, Shiro is a mboch in Tommy’s house. Tommy is a 13 year old kid who goes to school from Monday to Friday. On Saturdays he stays home watching television and playing with his friends. His mother is never around on Saturdays so he has the audacity to do what he wishes. But then, he is a ‘good’ kid so he mostly stays indoors. For no reason at all, it always bothered me that this lad was rarely outside on weekends. Was it because he was handsome? Was it because I love kids? Or was it that Shiro always made me get suspicious? Whatever it was, now I had my answer.
In 7/10 households, a maid is present. In 5/7 of these households, the mothers or rather, the employees have left their kids at the mercy of these maidens; to raise them and act like the real mothers. Mama Tommy is always busy and when she is free which is on Sundays, she goes out with her girls (I always wonder how important her kids are to her). On this day however, she made time for her son and her son made time to open up to her. She was however busy polishing her 50 dollar nails while nodding to each word her boy was saying. I believe that whatever he was saying was going in one ear and exiting from the other ear without being filtered or absorbed. For if she was paying attention, she would have gotten the point, ‘Mama I lost my virginity to, Shiro, the maid.
People judge ladies for how they lose their virginity or to whom they lose it to and fail to focus on how guys also lose theirs. We get it, it is an achievement for a guy to lose his virginity. But is it an achievement if he loses it to the maid, to a cougar or even to his relative. I’ve heard and seen guys brag about how they lost their virginity at the age of 12-17 and I end up asking myself, where was your mother? Would she be proud of you? Did your father give you the sex talk? Is it your father or mother who really failed? If the parents were to know that their son lost his virginity to the maid, the mother is the one to be blamed instead of the father yet the father is equally responsible. I think it’s high time that parents stepped in. But maybe am the one overthinking this. One day if my son approaches me and says, “Mama, I slept with the maid.” I might be proud of him because he has proved that he is a man or I might be disappointed. Guess I’ll know when I cross that bridge. But guys, please make me understand this; why is it that when a girl loses her virginity in the back seat of a Subaru you call her a hoe or slut yet when a guy loses his virginity to the maid or cougar, you call him a hero-shouldn’t I call him a man hoe?